Operation Try New Foods: Pummelo

My boys love to eat. LOVE it! They eat from the 4 basic food groups. Chicken Nuggets, Mac-N-Cheese, Pizza, and Junk. Well, maybe not that bad but still! They turn their little noses up at anything they aren't familiar with and it drives me crazy. At the same time, I know where they get it. I like food but I am very picky. I have gotten better lately but still have a ways to go. Charles is awful about trying anything new. He just refuses. That is why we are starting this new thing at our house. We are going to try new stuff. I am not sure how often we will be doing it but I thought it would be fun for everyone.

Our first round of trying new things was a pummelo. (or at least that is how it was spelled on the sticker)

Check out this for some more info on this fruit.

First, this thing is the size of Rogan's head. It was huge! Looked like a really big grapefruit. Not sure what to look for I followed the directions on the sticker. Big, heavy and yellow.

I cut this thing open and the inside was a whiteish pinky color. Kinda odd. It had a really thick rind and a thick skin between the segments. It took a lot longer than I thought to actually get it cut apart and and ready to eat. It tasted ok. Was sort of like a grapefruit but sweeter. Not as sweet as an orange though. I liked it and Parker LOVED it! He was singing some song about "Oh Pummelo". Charles thought it was really sour which I just don't get but I am glad he tried it. Braxton didn't really like it but he ate it and Rogan said it was too spicy so maybe too acidic?

Overall it was good but took way too long to get ready to eat. I like things to be a little simpler than that. And it was $2.99! There was plenty for everyone but I would rather buy a 3 lb. bag of tangerines for that price!

So, there it is. Not sure what we will get into next but I will let you know how it goes!

Thankful.

Lately I have sorta been in a slump. I feel like I am just fed up with the "everyday". The cleaning, the cooking, the laundry... And sadly this has shown up with my children as well. I haven't spent as much time with them as I normally do, we haven't done as many things together at home, and it just seems like I get frustrated every time they need me. I want nothing more than to change this! So it starts today. Vacation is upon us and while we have started that by time outs and sentence writing, I know that I am also partially to blame. So, here it is, just a post to remind me, and show a few of you, just how amazingly blessed I am.

For all of this:


I get this:


And for these:


I get this:


And I know people think I am crazy for spending so much time at the ball park but who can resist a kid who looks this good in a uniform?


I could watch him all day!


Or this guy in pads?!


And friends like these:


And while there is a LOT of this:


...this...


and way too much of this:


I know that no matter what we are a family. They are brothers despite it all and I know the bond will just get stronger with time.


They are my boys!


And just when I got comfortable with life, God gave me this:


And they really are worth it!

Thanks for listening! :)

Dear Daniel,

Do you remember school lunches? They were awful. You always had some amazing looking sandwich. I think your grandmother kept more types of meat and bread stocked than any grocery store. I loved the days she would make mine too! You could tell she absolutely adored you. I miss her and her sweet little German accent. I hope your grandparents are doing well.
Remember the Lundy boy that you punched at CHURCH?! HA! I have never seen old people go so crazy. In remember Marty. Poor guy tried so hard to get us teenagers to listen. His son goes to the same school as mine now so I still see them around here and there. I go to church dinners still. I loved those dinners. And all the singing. You, me, Jenna, David, Ryan. It was fun and I am so thankful for those years.
Just wanted to let you know. I can't believe it is coming up on 3 years. You are still loved and still incredibly missed.

Remember this one?

"Troubles will soon be o’er, happy forever more, When we meet on that shore, free from all care.
Rising up in the sky, telling this world goodbye,
Homeward we then will fly, glory to share.


Jesus is coming soon, morning or night or noon,
Many will meet their doom, trumpets will sound.
All of the dead shall rise, righteous meet in the sky,
Going where no one dies, Heavenward bound!"

See you soon.
RIP Daniel McCall

All my love,

Tarah

U-G-L-Y You ain't got no alibi.

Oh my poor, neglected blog....

Anyway....

I was hanging out with Park the other day, like most days, and he kept messing with my feet. Ugh. Things went something like this:

Me: PARKER! Stop messing with mommas ugly toes!
Parker: You stop messing with my ugy toes!
Me: Parker there is not an ugly thing on that little body of yours.
Parker: Uh huh, I got some ugy toes.

Now this was all cute and funny but it's times like these when my heart breaks a little.

Reason #1. I am his mom. I think he is perfect. Every bump or scrape. All of his fingers and toes, eyes and ears, mouth and nose. His personality, his sense of humor. Everything. I do not want my awful self esteem to rub off on him and I want him to see the amazing(ness) of him!

Reason #2. For me this was one of those moments I forget way too quickly!!! God so clearly saying that I am perfect. Well, I may not be perfect, I make mistakes, but in His eyes I am His perfect creation. All the things I complain about, old scars, freckles, a ginormous birth mark. Those are there because God himself put them there. Who am I really to say that my feet are ugly? Why can't I see the amazing(ness) in me?

God, please help me to see what you see in me! And also, help me to see it in others!

That's all. :)

Girl Meets Grill

I read a few stories about a friends experience with grilling today and while hers was much more entertaining I still thought I would share mine.

Grill, 1: Tarah, 0

I am not a culinary whiz. I can cook, I really like cooking. I make some pretty decent stuff here and there. We just recently got a grill and I was excited to try out this new method of cooking. I read a little about grilling online a little and I have seen it done so I figured I could handle something simple.

I asked the mother in law to come over and help out and eat my amazing creations. I knew dinner would be great that night. I could picture it in my head from the prepping to the grilling to the eating. Chicken, corn and potatoes. Got it.

I start by getting everything ready inside. I have my platter ready, the chicken has been marinated, veggies have been wrapped in foil, we are ready to go. I hook up the tank (I at least had the sense to know that charcoal would be far beyond my outdoor cooking capabilities), turn on the grill and get ready to cook. I wait until the grill is slightly hotter than the surface of the sun and put the potatoes on first. They have to cook the longest. After a while I go and turn them and add the corn and chicken. So far, so good.

I come inside, timing the chicken, to get some more utensils. The raw chicken, cooked chicken, do not contaminate lectures are running through my brain. I go out side to check on the food and WOW! That chicken is crisp. By crisp I mean REALLY crisp. and black. I still have this under control. I turn down the crematorium hoping to avoid "crisping" the other side of the chicken. I run inside for...who knows what and go back out to check on my food and WOW! That chicken is on fire! Seriously on fire!

At this point, between getting food on the grill and then back off of the grill, I have used about 5 pans or platters or plates and just about every utensil that was clean. Here I am holding a pair of tongs as long as my arm trying to get a flaming chicken breast off of a grill that is putting off so much heat I can almost hear my skin start to sizzle. I grab the chicken with these tongs and wave it around in the air desperately trying to extinguish the flame. That doesn't work. I can only imagine what my MIL was thinking if she were to look out the window and see me blowing out that piece of chicken like a birthday candle.

Dinner was slightly edible. I cut up the pieces that didn't disintegrate and that was that. Since then I have yet to try again. Fortunately Charles has taken over as grill master in our house. He has spent time researching and finding recipes. I guess it makes him feel accomplished. I have never seen him turn on the stove, I don't think he even knows how, but he has been amazing on the grill. He has been disappointed on the weekends that he hasn't been able to try something new. I know it's just a grill but being able to hang out at the house with the kids and the moms the past few weekends makes you realize how important family is. I wouldn't trade days like that for anything!

Mind Your Own Business!

OK. Let me start by saying I TRY to be a nice person. Really. Some of you are already laughing. I am not naturally a nice person. If you knew me in high school or even just a few years ago you may have seen this side of me. I genuinely try very hard to be nice to people, all people. But, people make it very hard. It's like they taunt me.

Example 1:
I'm sitting in church with a friend who is holding my new baby. I ran out of the house that morning completely forgetting her blanket and it's slightly chilly in church. Not a big deal though, she is being held all snug and isn't bothered at all by the frigid temperatures. As church is dismissed a lovely family stops to see the baby and ask all the usual questions. Then, obviously being far superior parents and seeing my lack of competence in caring for a newborn, they ask why she doesn't have a blanket.

"Well, ma'am, I was in a hurry getting here this morning and forgot to grab it on the way out the door."

She then proceeds to tell me that I should have brought her one and that the sanctuary was much to cold for her. Maybe I should go to the nursery and see if they had one I could use. See her feet? They are just purple she is so cold.

I stopped responding at that point. I probably shouldn't even admit what I was thinking at that point.

Example 2:
Standing in a group, again discussing the new baby, comments were made about how much hair she has. My comment was just that I really hope it stays and doesn't fall out. Ms. Optimism decides to chime in and says... Don't worry it will fall out, then you will just have to wait for it to grow back in.

I am pretty sure I wasn't asking for opinions but thanks for making me hear yours.

Example 3:
I am at the beach. Yes, I take my 6 week old to the beach. She was only 3 weeks old the first time she went. Anyway, here we are, baby is 6 weeks old at the beach. I bring her chair and an umbrella. She stays in the shade and someone is always with her and there is a good breeze so she really isn't getting too hot. Toward the end of our time at the beach she starts to get a little fussy so I pick her up and carry her down to the water with me to help round up the boys.

And here she comes. The all knowing woman. They really do have that "look". You can see them coming and you just know they are going to tell you how to take care of your child. They are everywhere! Church, Wal-Mart, grocery stores, and even the beach. Now don't get me wrong, I am all open for advice, suggestions, help, or even criticism. It's really how you approach the subject that aggravates me more than anything. Our conversations goes just a little like this:

Lady: Is she yours?
Me: Yes ma'am. Her and those three little boys.
Lady: How old is she?
Me: Almost 7 weeks. (I was trying to make her sound older because I knew it was coming...)
Lady: Oh. What's on her face? It's a rash, don't you think it is being caused by the heat?
Me: No ma'am, it's baby acne and it is caused by hormones. She had it before we came out here and it should clear up in the next few weeks.
Lady: Well, how old are you?

**Are you kidding me?! You aren't my mom! What if I am 16?! Who does that? Who asks someone how old they are like that? RUDE!**

Me: Ma'am I'm 28.
Lady: Oh. Well, you need to take that baby to the shade. She doesn't need to be in the sun because her skin will burn.

And this is where I stop responding.

I'm sorry but I really just don't understand why perfect strangers feel it's ok to walk up to you and tell you how to take care of your child. I feel I handled these situations really well. A couple of years ago I would have said everything running through my mind at the time. I still say a lot of the things on my mind and if I have offended anyone I apologize. Well, sorta, if it needed to be said and you got offended then I kinda don't feel bad but that just goes back to the 'I'm really not a nice person' statement.

Momma Said There'd Be Days Like This

It started so well. As well as I could have hoped for considering I had to get all the kids up and dressed, dropped off at school and then be back to Braxton's school by 8:15 for a presentation. Charles had to help out some and Ryleigh could have used another feeding but all in all I was rather impressed with myself. We arrived at the school and made it to our seats and through the whole presentation with no melt downs. We strolled around afterward and dropped off paperwork as well as visited some classes. I had such confidence with my 2 small children that I made the assumption the other 2 errands would be a breeze and we would be eating lunch at home in no time.

HA!

Stop 1: The DMV. While I never expected this to be easy, I did plan on going during a slow time and brought along things to occupy Parker while we waited. I just needed to renew my license which has been expired for about 3 months. Little did I know I would need every form of legal documentation I have ever owned. Ok, I can still do this. We will just swing over to the mother in laws house and get my marriage license, no big deal. So here I sit in her driveway when I realized I don't have a key. But Charles says a key on his works so I try them...all...nothing. I climb the privacy fence and get the same luck on the back doors.

Home I go. I search and search for my key to her house but cannot seem to find it. I do find her spare set of keys that she keeps over here so I head back. We try the front, scale the fence again, and try the back. No luck. She says I may be able to get in a window to the garage where her dogs stay so after prying the screen off the window and being nearly attacked by a wasp whose home I had just relocated I manage to get in. Now if only life were that simple. The door going from the garage to the house is locked and all 5 of my keys are useless.

Trip 3. I go home AGAIN. I dig and dig and dig and finally find a key that isn't MY key but it's all that is left. Make it BACK to her house try again and we are FINALLY in! At this point I have Parker, Ryleigh (who is hungry again) and Rogan. I get all my paperwork together and off we go. We get there around 11:30 which isn't too bad but having seen it earlier I knew there would be a wait.

I was so proud of the boys! They actually sat and played for a few minutes. I fed Ryleigh half of her lunch and then it was our turn. I managed to answer a million questions, do an eye exam and take a picture with the boys hanging on my legs. Then we realized I had left one of my proofs of address in the car. Great. While rounding them all up Parker jumped on a bulletin board on wheels right over my foot. So now my limping and bleeding self is hauling us all out to the car for a water bill. Really?! You have my old license, my birth certificate, social security card, marriage license, and car registration. Do you really need a water bill?

That done we get to move to the computers and take a road signs test. 2 year olds and touch screens should never be put in the same area. There were a lot of "NO"s and "DONT TOUCH THAT" and other threats involved but I managed to pass. We go back to gather up all our paperwork and Paker decided he was done and sprinted out the front door and into the parking lot. I yell for poor Rogan to stay inside by his sister and some nice lady helps me chase down Parker. Now I must head all the way to the other side of the room thoroughly embarrassed and wanting to choke my child, within the limits of the law of course.

We head to the 2nd waiting room to pay and get the license. Boys are good, Ryleigh is screaming. As I am paying the man Parker AGAIN decides to sprint out the door and into the other parking lot. Now here I am, wallet all over this mans counter, and I am running after him while holding a 3 week old. I then pin him to the counter with my leg until I can get a firm grip on him to leave.

Good times.

So much for my plans to go home and eat. I am really trying to save money. But today we ended up at Taco Bell (so healthy) and I bought them cheesy roll-ups and a sprite. They ate, well, more like shredded their food in the back of the car while I fed Ryleigh. While she was eating she also felt the need to fill her pants. I mean fill. This was our first blow out. Of course it happened in a Gymboree outfit, in the car, in a Taco Bell parking lot.

But, we are home now. Kids are playing in the sprinkler, Ryleigh is napping, and I am having a couple minutes of nothing before all my evening chores start again. Not all days are like this. If they were I really would have stopped at 1. Everyday is an adventure though! Let's hope tomorrow's adventure is a little less adventurous!

A Girl Changes Everything

Rogan and I were sitting on the bed changing Ryleigh's diaper the other day. Here is the conversation that followed.

Rogan: Where is her weener?
Me: She doesn't have one. She's a girl.
Rogan: Oh. Do you have a weener?
Me: No.
Rogan: OK.

*Braxton comes in the room*

Rogan: Braxton, Mom doesn't have a weener.
Braxton: (in his most matter of fact tone) Yes she does.
Rogan: No she doesn't.
Braxton: Mom, do you?
Me: No.
Braxton: Then what do you have?
Me: We'll talk about it later.


Having a girl is such a new experience. From the little things like dresses and hairbows to the bigger things like how we teach our boys to look out for her and protect her. The house has a gentler side to it now. I am giving up my position as the only girl in the house and I think I have done well so far. The boys are showing their sweet side a little more. I've only known this little princess for 3 weeks but I absolutely love her and all the changes she is bringing to our family, big and small.

36 Weeks

So, an update, finally.

I am 36 weeks today! It is a great thing, until you realize that I have only made the 38 week mark once. And then it is terrifying. I don't think I am ready! Do I have everything? I am at a loss as to what to even pack in a hospital bag. I know I have done this a few times before but it is still a HUGE step. Another baby! More sleepless nights. More diapers. Then it all ends so quickly. Some times I wish things would slow down but for the most part I am ready to not be pregnant any more. Ever again. I am ready to close this chapter and start writing a new one. One that doesn't involve newborns but toddlers and children who can tie their own shoes. I am ready for school plays and ballgames. Saturdays at the beach with no concern for nap time and breastfeeding. But anyway...

I had a 36 week checkup yesterday. Basics... I gained another 4 pounds putting me at 26 total. I thought I would have gained more than that. I normally do but there is still a little time. I have cut back on my sugar intake so I am sure that was a factor in not gaining as much. At least the weight I gained was a little healthier. Blood pressure is great and so is pretty much everything else. The only thing is that I do have some swelling. My body has never even thought about swelling anywhere before so to actually see it is CRAZY! My ankles are disappearing! It's very disturbing but doc says nothing to worry about.

I had an ultrasound and baby looks really good. She measures at 38 weeks and 7 pounds 5 ounces. Kinda crazy since I have never had a 7 pounder. Everything about is perfect except the fact that she is breech. Oh joy.

For those who don't know, Braxton was also breech. He was head down until 36 weeks and then went breech and I felt every moment of it. It hurt. At my 37 week check up I was told that he was definitely breech and that a c-section would be scheduled at 39 weeks. I went into labor a few days later and from the time I got to the hospital until the time he was born was only 2 hours. It was an incredibly fast process and I honestly didn't like any of it from the surgery to recovery. But since then I have had 2 VBAC's and have been so much happier with the way those went.

As for my options this time around, there are a few things I can do. I have tried every suggestion I can find online on how to turn a breech baby. I have not been swimming, although I tried, it was just COLD!!! I could see a chiropractor or an acupuncturist if I wanted. As of right now we are going to try to do an external cephalic version. This to me seems a bit extreme and I always said I would never let someone try to turn my baby but when faced with the option of that or another cesarean I am willing to try.

Basically, the procedure is this:
You go to the hospital and receive an epidural and a shot of something to relax your muscles, usually terbutaline since it relaxes your uterus. Then you are hooked up to monitors and an ultrasound machine. A doctor and a few other people come in, grease up your belly and manually turn your baby. You have to be monitored for 6 hours after the procedure but then you are sent home to wait for labor. Whenever that may be.

Yes, there is a chance baby may flip back. There is a chance you will go into labor. With me, there is a greater chance of uterine rupture. The fact that they give you an epidural to even do this is scary. I mean... seriously?! An epidural??! How bad would it hurt without one? But I don't think it is so much a pain factor as it is they want you to be really relaxed so that the procedure actually works. This is all assuming that I am even able to do the version. I have an appointment tomorrow with the high risk doc to see if I am a candidate. They measure the baby, fluid levels, check the position of the placenta and other things. If all that is good they could set the appointment as early as Friday!

All of this scares me. I am scared of doing this but I am terrified of having another c-section. I stink at dealing with pain and I have 3 other children to look after not to mention a newborn. I just don't think I could handle that well. Not to mention all the feelings I have about the operating room. Sometimes cesareans are necessary but I do believe that most of the time we don't give our bodies enough credit. If it comes down to it and I have to have one then I will live. I will get over it and will be fine just like everyone else but I am really praying that is not the case. I guess we will find out tomorrow!

More Parker Ramblings

1. I need a tennis shoe to wipe my nose.

Really? A tennis shoe? I keep telling him to say tissue but no luck yet.


2. There is no pancake in my belly so you cannot eat me.

This was his response when I asked him if I could just eat him a little.


3. Cannot, will not, did not.

The boy doesn't use contractions.



And that's it for now.

New Trimester, Bright New Outlook

Let me preface this blog with a few statements.

1. I have many friends right now who are struggling. People who I even avoid being around because I know that anything pregnancy related can be a real hurt to them. I in no way want to minimize the pain that they feel.
2. I know that I know that I know that I am blessed. I would not trade a thing in this world for my children. All four of them.

That said, this is me.
This is where I have been.
This is where I am.

We were not trying to get pregnant. We were actually trying to avoid it. I always said we might have another in a year or so but I knew Charles was ready to move on. The part I couldn't move on from was never having a daughter. A little girl. I would cry at the thought of never making that connection with a child. Never seeing Charles be a dad to a little princess. It hurt. But, as Parker started walking and talking, things got easier. Life got easier. We were in a good place and I was the queen. Girls share and the boys share, it's a house rule. In other words, if we had 2 potato chips in the whole house, Charles and the 3 slobbery little munchkins shared one, and I got the other all to myself to enjoy. Who could ask for more?

I never realized how much I had come to terms with not having any more children until that little pink line showed up on that little white stick. I couldn't believe it. I didn't feel the joy that you get when you finally get what you have been praying for. Instead, I felt awful. I felt like I had made a mistake, something I had to be ashamed of. I didn't even want to tell Charles because I thought he would be upset about the pregnancy and at me for somehow letting this happen. I know that these are the thoughts of a crazy person but in my head we had already moved on from this stage in our lives.

Charles was happy. WHAT?! It was the weirdest thing. He wanted to tell everyone and all I wanted to do was hide. I am so thankful that he reacted in such an unexpected way. It made me realize that it was ok. He was happy so I could be happy. I found things to be happy about. I would get to shop, I would get to eat whatever and whenever, things like that. I tried to not even hope for a girl because I just knew it was impossible. We were having a boy and his name was Carter and then life would be complete.

Finding out the baby was a girl was such a surreal experience. I had always dreamed of those words but never expected them to be said to me. I was lucky enough to find out at home with the boys and one of the best people I've ever met with me. Unfortunately, Charles was at work but it really was the best day ever. I have had many ultrasounds since then that all say girl and each time I get excited. So, here I am pregnant and happy. I am happy about having a baby. I am happy about having a girl. Shopping makes me happy. Feeling her move around, which is all the time, makes me happy.

I am not looking forward to having a newborn. It's a lot of work on very little sleep but it is only for a short time. Overall I have felt really good about things. I am able to get the car seat, stroller, swing, any big item that we need. I will have the money for the hospital bill and my family has been a huge help. All of these things are so generic. They are all stuff. I feel like I have been happy about having a baby but not THIS baby. I don't think I have felt it on a personal level. I don't feel like I have made the connection with having a baby with this specific little baby growing inside me.

Tonight was the first night that I thought of holding this baby and I smiled. I mean really smiled. I am finally starting to feel the sense of anticipation of when she'll be here. How incredibly tiny she'll be with dark skin and lots of dark hair. Those little feet and the way they arch their back when you pick them up. That sweet new baby smell, soft skin and the innocence of it all. It is finally sinking in that THIS baby, the one kicking all night, the one that I could never even imagine existing, is going to be here soon. I don't know what happened all of a sudden for me to really love HER, not just "the new baby" but I am so thankful it did.

Hopefully my late night ranting will make sense.

Her name is Ryleigh and she is perfect and I can't wait to meet HER!

You know you should potty train when...

Ok, Parker has this deal lately with taking off his diaper. No clue why. This morning as I was putting him in the car to take the boys to school I realized he still had his PJs on but no diaper. Where could it have gone? Keep in mind, it's 40 degrees out, we should have left 8 minutes ago and the other kids are already in the car and buckled. I am not about to go in for a diaper. I will clean the car seat later. Ok, we all get buckled in and ready to go and I'm asking Parker where his diaper is and he keeps saying in his pants. BUT it's NOT unless that is the thinnest diaper in the world and after sleeping the last 12 hours in it, thin is the furthest thing it would be from. After insisting and insisting that I need to get his diaper from his pants, I look back to see Parker holding his leg in the air and an enormous mass hanging from his calf. WHAT?! How on earth did his diaper get from around his waste to around his ankle while still fastened on both sides and his pants still on??? HOW?!

As far as potty training goes... I really think I should start. I don't because, honestly, it's sort of a pain in the butt. I was thinking of waiting until summer when he can just run naked in the backyard but lately he has really started recognizing when he needs to go. The fact that he has figured out how to take his diaper off isn't helping either. Not only does the child take off his poopy diaper, he finds it hilarious to chase Rogan around with it! Now I have one child running around and screaming for his life, well, at least his cleanliness, while my barely 2 year old is chasing him holding a foul beast of a diaper and leaving a little Hansel and Gretel turd trail throughout the house.

Yep, to the potty we go.

Happy Happy Joy Joy

Random Fact: I used to LOVE to watch Ren and Stimpy.

My mother in law was over for dinner the other night after we had finished our tax returns. She said some things that really got me thinking.

MONEY! What is the deal? What is enough? The stuff goes out faster than it comes in. I wouldn't say I "love" money but it really makes things easier. Over the last few years we have learned a lot about things more important than money. When you are 8 months pregnant, have 3 boys, a new house and your husband has no job, you start to appreciate the value of money a little more but you also realize that it is only money. Lately, things for us have been a little more stressful. Having a baby means extra expenses. I know that some of these are purely wants on my part. It is a girl after 4 boys so I may have gone a little overboard. None the less, dwindling bank account equals stress.

I use TurboTax to file our income tax returns. I have never had a problem with them and they really break it down for me. The most amazing part of this software though is the little number at the top that shows the amount of your refund as you go.

**Can I just apologize to anyone who owes at the end of the year. That would stink. My advice, have some kids.**

So, I am sitting at the computer inputting numbers into boxes from various forms. I am checking to make sure we get all the deductions we can possibly get. As I continue through the hundreds of pages of questions this little green number in the corner is climbing higher and higher. I am starting to feel pretty good about this. I would say that my mood went from stressed and overwhelmed to joyful even. I felt JOYFUL.

JOY: the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying

WOW. Caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying.

1 Chron. 16:27
Splendor and majesty are before him;
strength and joy in his dwelling place.

Job 6:10
Then I would still have this consolation—
my joy in unrelenting pain—
that I had not denied the words of the Holy One.

Psalm 4:6-8
6 Many are asking, "Who can show us any good?"
Let the light of your face shine upon us, O LORD.

7 You have filled my heart with greater joy
than when their grain and new wine abound.

8 I will lie down and sleep in peace,
for you alone, O LORD,
make me dwell in safety.

Job, in the midst of everything, had joy. Where is the source of my joy? Is it in money? Joy is something I should have all of the time regardless of my circumstances. Joy is found in His presence, not in a tax return.

Another day, another humbling experience with God.

Booties and Such

So, as I am sure most of you have noticed, since I tend to make you notice, I am on a creative kick at the moment. My most recent creations are booties. They are stinking cute.

I thought I would start selling them as well since
1. I shouldn't be selfish and keep them all myself and
2. I need a way to support my fabric buying habit.

Anyway, here are a couple sets I have made and if you are interested let me know.






I have a lot of fabric or if you want something specific I can do that too. Just call, text, email, facebook, or show up at my house.

Help Haiti and get some cool stuff

I came across this silent auction and thought I would pass it on. I have become a blog troll lately. Anyway.

The auction is at This Mama Rocks. All proceeds go to the American Red Cross. Check it out!

An Amazing Giveaway

Have I ever told you about one of my most favorite blogs? Seriously. I make so many things on this site and everything she does comes with LOTS of pictures for beginners like me. Her name is Ashley and her blog is Make It and Love It. I promise I would not tell you about it if I didn't think it was worth checking out.

Right now she is hosting a giveaway. Jen from Baby Blvd. is giving away a $25 gift certificate good for anything in her store and trust me, she has some really cute stuff! Check out her blog or go to her Etsy Store.

Then, pray that I win the contest!

Things Parker Says

I wanted to write this down because I forget EVERYTHING! Really. It's bad.

If you didn't know this already Parker is the funniest kid on the planet. I have had the best time hanging out with just him 3 hours each day. He comes up with the most hilarious stuff all the time. You never know what he is going to say, and believe me, whatever it is, he can say it.

So here are some of the things that I think are the cutest things ever!

**My friend Daddy** Any time Parker is telling me to show his dad or give his dad something he says : Mommy, give this to your friend Daddy.
I have no clue where he got this but it's pretty cute.

**Chocolate Milk and Milk** I have no idea why he started this. He used to just say chocolate milk but lately he asks for chocolate milk and milk. I guess he thinks the syrup is the chocolate milk so he has to ask for milk too. No clue.

**Bublong and Bubloons** Again, he used to say these things fine. Now, instead of belong, he tells you to put things where they bublong. And, instead of balloons, it's bubloons.

He wrote on his foot with a pen last night. We were in the car this morning and he said "Mommy, I wrote on my foot. It says E I O Parker."

He yells arriba at the garage door to get it to open.

The child is crazy :)

OH--- I forgot to add in the baby update--- I eat ice. This is a habit that I cannot stand. If I drink is in the fridge I usually don't even add ice. But then comes that 6th month and it starts. I have done it every time. And I don't mean a cup here and there, I mean pounds of ice. There are some days I will go to Sonic 3 times and get a Route 44 cup of ice. My ice maker barely keeps up with the amount of ice I go through and I am sure in a couple of months it won't. I am not too sure why I do this but I know my iron drops really low late in pregnancy. I am going to ask when I go back to the doc and see if maybe it is already low. We will see :)

25 Weeks 5 Days

It really has been a while since I have done this. It has been a roller coaster pregnancy. I think we are finally starting to settle down. I finally feel good, just in time to hit the 3rd trimester. Here are the basics. Baby is now the size of an eggplant.



She is over a foot long and weighs about 1 1/2 pounds! Or at least that is the textbook measurement. I am measuring really good so she probably is. I have gained 10 pounds so far. I know this does not sound like a lot but I usually do not gain weight until month 7 so there is time. My guess is that I will gain another 20. My next appointment is on Feb. 8th and I will have my glucose tested then. Wish me luck, I always fail that stupid thing. I have not had a 20 week ultrasound but I have had them for other reasons. Hopefully I can get one more before too long.

Basically, I changed docs. It was crazy. I should have listened to my instinct and gone to Jenny Allen from the beginning of the pregnancy but I didn't. I changed from Dr. Lile to another OB and it was worse. Charles even put his foot down and told me I had to change. I feel bad about changing so much but I made it over to Jenny Allen's office and that is where I am going to stay. The only thing that makes me nervous is delivering at Baptist. I have never been impressed with Sacred Heart and have only heard great things about Baptist so I am not sure why I care so much. I did like the idea of having the childrens hospital right there but I know I won't need it. My chance for uterine rupture is higher since I have had a previous c-section but if I were to rupture I doubt I will be in a position to worry to much about what is going on with the baby.

Anyway... I feel really good. Headaches are gone (mostly), I can eat without getting sick, I finally have some energy. My goal before Ryleigh gets here is to organize the house. I have done ok. Boys room, play room, most of Ryleigh's room, living room, office and part of the kitchen are all done. I just need to finish the kitchen, clean out the linen closet, my room and mainly my clothes. Not too bad. Please don't confuse organized with clean though. While I may not have a bunch of junk in the house, the stuff I do have still gets out of control.

I have a few projects I am working on. Plush toys, booties, burp rags. Stuff like that. I am going to be making some sets to sell as well. All in all things are going really well!

Oh yeah... the progesterone shots. Here is the deal with those. I was getting contractions starting around 14-15 weeks. They started like your typical Braxton Hicks contractions. Then they got worse. They would be every 10, 8, 5 or 3 minutes. They were regular and PAINFUL. I was given the option of taking 17P injections. This is basically just progesterone. If you know me, you know I am scared to death of needles but honestly the thought of no more contractions was just that great. The thing with the contractions I get though is that they are pretty much harmless. I do not dilate or anything. They are painful and annoying but are not putting me at risk for preterm delivery. That said, I think Jenny Allen feels that it is too aggressive a treatment. Typically, when you are on the injections you see a high risk doctor and are monitored closely for cervical change. For me, it's convenience. So, I think I will be stopping them soon. I pray there is enough progesterone in me to keep the contractions away. Even if they aren't threatening the baby, they are still painful and annoying. The next day I always feel like I was beat up. I have 3 boys at home and it is hard to do anything when you are in that much pain but I know it won't be for long.

That is the update. Hopefully there will be more uneventful things to write about soon!

Rain on my Pity Parade

I am not typically someone who requires pity. Sometimes life is good, sometimes it's not but it is what it is. If life hands you lemons, you don't always have to make lemonade but you do need to accept it and move on. Most things are black and white. Yes or no. Make a decision and stick to it. Accept the consequences. Ok **stepping off of my soap box** These are my usual thoughts until... the email.

At first I just assumed that this email was meant for someone else. A case of mistaken identity, it could happen. The next day I opened the email to see more than the foreign meaning in the subject line and I realized that this email was indeed intended for me. Wow! These people are really planning ahead if they are sending out emails already. As I read on, the content and dates began to really sink in. My lighthearted, can't be meant for me thoughts were quickly changing to a horrifying realization. My 10 year high school reunion is on its way. And it's NOW!

How is this possible?
I just graduated?!
Can I really be THAT old?!!

Ok, I can come to terms with the old part. I did that when I turned 27. I was ok until 27 but that is a whole separate issue. It's all the other questions that began to plague my mind that I was having a hard time with. As I looked at the current lives and careers of my former classmates (aka. trolled facebook pages) these questions really started screaming in my head. What have I done with my life over the past 10 years? What are my impressive accomplishments? How have I become a successful and productive member of society? I guess one could argue that I have robbed a store or committed murder but I also haven't finished college. I don't even have a job. Yes, I have a family, a big one, but so do others with educations and careers. Where is my "above and beyond"?

I am sure you can imagine it at this point. I am having an amazing pity party. I mean, it was a REALLY good one. Complete with balloons and streamers and banners that said "Poor Pitiful Tarah". There was nothing that anyone could say or do that was going to make me feel better about the lousy situation I had spent the last 10 years creating for myself. I was perfectly happy drowning in sorrow. If you didn't feel the same way then you weren't invited, plain and simple. It's like the event that you don't post of facebook because one person will show up and ruin the whole thing.

So, here I was, having a great time, wallowing in despair when I heard a knocking. This was, of course, a figurative knock. I knew who it was but I turned off the lights and pretended I wasn't home. After all, no one invited Him. And then He laughed at me. Of course the knock was only a formality. He had been there the whole time and I honestly do not think He could contain His laughter any longer. God is funny like that. He was there to crash my party but feeling strengthened by all the self loathing I thought I might actually win this argument. This is about how it went...

God: Suck it up.

Me: BUT! Look at me! I don't have a job, I haven't finished college, my house is a mess, my kids are wild, and lets not bring up the bank account.

God: So?

Me: SO!!! So, look at this person and this person and this person... Careers, houses, families with perfect little kids. They are out there making a difference, they are important.

God: Important to who? Other men? YOU are important to ME. I made you. I made you PERFECT. I planned your life before you were even born. I called you to be a wife and mom not a someone with a high profile career. Is everything I have given you not good enough? I have given you 4 of MY children to love and raise as your own and yet you need the approval of others? My approval is the only one that matters and I gave you that long before you asked for it or even deserved it.

Me: .............

This is where my pity parade ended. God has given me so much and I do not deserve any of it. I could finish school (and eventually, I will), I could have a job, I am good at things. I know this. But I also know that I am in God's will and He has given me the things that are best for me. So what if I don't have a six figure income and an impressive resume. I have God.

So, wish me luck as I get closer to this reunion. Pray that while I may not have the things that are impressive in man's eyes, people will see that I have something much greater. A God who loves me and blesses me daily even when I feel as though I can never be good enough.

Organizing Christmas Lights

So, I really wanted to get this up sooner but... oh well. If you still can use this tip, it is great, if not, there is always next year. :)

I am not sure where this idea came from but we have been using it for a long time. We finally replaced our lights this year but the set before we had for around 8 years. Crazy! This year we did end up buying a plastic reel thingy that came in a bag for the lights but they didn't really fit well on it so we will see how it goes. Not to mention it was $10!

So, what I normally do is, save the cardboard rolls from inside of the wrapping paper. When you are ready to pack up all of your lights just cut a slit in one end of the roll and then slide the end of the strand between with the plug part on the inside of the roll.







After that you just wrap the lights around the roll. So simple! When you get to the end you can trim the roll closer to the end of the strand and cut another slit for the other plug.








I have just thrown them on top of all the other stuff in our plastic bins but they will fit inside a trash bag or even roll them in a tree skirt for extra protection. No more untangling lights!!!